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Favorite bit? The thrill, innit. That buzz when you match, the banter flows, and you’re thinkin’, “Oh, this could be it.” Like Malik takin’ control in that flick—power’s in your hands, sorta. Once hooked up with this tattooed geezer who quoted Nietzsche mid-shag—surprised me so much I nearly fell off the bed! Proper mad, but brilliant.

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First off, I wake up late. Like, super late. My alarm? Yeah, it decided to take a day off. So I’m sprinting through my tiny flat, tripping over my own feet, and cursing like a sailor. I finally make it out, and the sun’s already blazing. Great, just great. Krotoszyn’s sun is like a spotlight on my bad luck.

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