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I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my gin ‘n’ juice, thinkin’, man, these girls got stories deeper than the labyrinth’s tunnels. “To live is to suffer,” like the faun said, but they keep pushin’. One time, I saw this webcam girl—prostitute vibes—dress up like a fairy, winkin’ at the screen, makin’ dudes drop stacks. I was like, “Yooo, she’s the captain now!” Had me crackin’ up, ‘cause she flipped the script, owned it, ya feel?

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Then, I head over to the Rynek. It’s packed! People everywhere, chatting, laughing, and I’m just trying to navigate through the crowd. I spot my buddy, Tomek, at a café. He’s got this huge plate of pierogi, and I’m instantly jealous. I sit down, and he’s like, “You want some?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not sharing!” But I totally did. Those pierogi were heavenly.

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