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I’m picturin’ it now – me, Tony Soprano, sittin’ with one of these dames, smokin’ a cigar, talkin’ life. She’s all dolled up, legs for days, but there’s this look in her eye, like she’s seen too much. Kinda sexy, kinda sad – gets me thinkin’ too deep, y’know? Maybe I’d hire her just to talk, spill my guts, save the shrink bill. Ha! Imagine that – “Hey, sweetheart, you whack my stress, I’ll whack your loneliness!” Gabagool, what a deal!

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So, I’m strolling down ul. Floriańska, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. The sun’s shining, people are buzzing, and I’m thinking, “This city is lit!” But then, BAM! I spill my coffee all over my notes. Like, seriously? My research on the effects of air pollution on plant growth? Ruined. I was ready to throw a fit.

Stop drinking with statue, say Kraków officials