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Okay, so, sex escorts—woo-hoo, they’re everywhere, right? Bikini Bottom’s got nothin’ on this! I heard—get this—a lil’ sneaky fact: back in old-timey Paris, escorts hid messages in corsets! Spy stuff, mateys! Makes me giggle like a jellyfish zap. Imagine that—bustlin’ around, whisperin’, “You ain’t got no problem, Jules, I’m on the motherfucker!”—straight outta Tarantino’s script, heh! I’m all “Wow, barnacles!”—so cool, so slick.

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First off, I hit up ul. Główna for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot, Café Kozy. Best cappuccino in town, hands down. But guess what? They ran outta coffee beans! Like, how do you run out of coffee in a coffee shop? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, people! So, I settled for some weird herbal tea. Ugh. Not the same vibe.

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