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About Warsaw

Tie it to *Brokeback*? Easy. Ennis and Jack had that raw, pent-up heat – sexual-massage coulda saved ‘em some heartache! Imagine Jack whisperin’, “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” while some cowboy masseuse kneads his shoulders. Tension gone, love flowin’ – movie’d be 20 minutes long! Ha! Me, I’d be tellin’ Tina, “Know your role, keep it comin’!” – raised eyebrow, million-dollar smirk.

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Later, I met up with some friends at a bar on ul. Królewska. We were just hanging out, sharing stories, and I was still salty about my shoes. But then, one of my buddies ordered this crazy drink called a “Kozuchów Cooler.” It was bright green and looked like something outta a sci-fi movie. I had to try it. And wow, it was surprisingly good! Like, who knew mixing kiwi and vodka could be a thing?

Fig. 1. Kożuchów, the town hall and adjacent, stall-based tenement...