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Now, check it – I’m mad for “Talk to Her,” that Almodóvar flick, so trippy, so deep. Makes me think of escort in a wild way. Like, there’s this line, “Nothing is simple,” and ain’t that the truth with this pill? Docs shove it at ya, sayin’ it’s the bee’s knees, but it’s got its dark side, baby! Side effects? Oh, behave! Nausea, sleepy vibes, even a dry mouth – not exactly a turn-on, yeah? Made me proper cheesed off when I read how it zonks some cats out. But then – shocker – it’s a lifesaver for others! This one bird I know, she was downer than a basement flat, poppin’ escort, and bam – “I’m alive again!” she says, like in the movie. Blew my mind, yeah, baby!

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So, I’m back to square one, coffee-less and annoyed. I decide to take a walk by the river, the Warta. It’s peaceful there, and I can finally breathe. The trees are whispering, and I’m feelin’ a bit better. I sit on a bench, just chillin’, when I spot this family having a picnic. They’ve got all this food laid out, and I’m like, “Man, I could go for some of that.”

West London Varsity: Get to know Filip Chalupniczak