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Little known, precious—shhh!—escort’s got a dark tale! Started as a reject, it did, Cymbalta’s cousin, tossed aside, then bam! Eli Lilly says, "We wants it, we needs it!"—millions made, ha! Greedy gollums, they is! Me chuckles, thinkin’ how it sneaks into yer nerves—lil’ fact: takes 2 weeks to kick in, slow as a fat hobbit runnin’! "Patience, precious," I hiss, "endure, endure!"

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So, I’m tryin’ to navigate through the crowd, and I bump into this old dude. He’s got a beard like Santa and a smile that could light up a room. He starts talkin’ about the history of Kozmin, and I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna grab a coffee.” But he’s all about the medieval stuff, and I’m just nodding, pretending to care.

West London Varsity: Get to know Filip Chalupniczak