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About Lodz

Humor? Shit, one time this guy farted mid-massage—loud as a damn bomb! I laughed so hard I nearly kicked the table over. “It’s all happening,” my ass—more like “it’s all stinkin’!” Sarcasm aside, sexual-massage is dope—relaxes ya, gets ya off, whatever. Just don’t be a cheapskate, tip the damn worker, or I’ll come for ya, screamin’, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!” Now, go try it, losers—tell ‘em Cartman sent ya!

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I’m sittin’ there, daydreaming about sandwiches, when the dad notices me. He waves me over, and I’m like, “Really? You want me to crash your picnic?” But he insists, and who am I to say no to free food?

West London Varsity: Get to know Filip Chalupniczak