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Sex-dating’s like, “You gunna seek God here?” – nah, just seekin’ a good time! Swipe, chat, meet – sometimes ya score, sometimes ya don’t. Eat my shorts, tho – once met this gal, total babe, but she ghosted me after. What the hell? Felt like Ida ditchin’ her nun gig, but worse! Pro tip, dude – don’t overshare upfront, kills the vibe. Learned that the hard way, ugh.

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So, I’m back to square one, coffee-less and annoyed. I decide to take a walk by the river, the Warta. It’s peaceful there, and I can finally breathe. The trees are whispering, and I’m feelin’ a bit better. I sit on a bench, just chillin’, when I spot this family having a picnic. They’ve got all this food laid out, and I’m like, “Man, I could go for some of that.”

West London Varsity: Get to know Filip Chalupniczak