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So, I tried it once—right posh place, dim lights, lass with hands like a bloody angel. “We numb ourselves,” Brandon mutters in *Shame*, and sod that, I felt alive! Muscles screaming hallelujah, knobs and all tingling—sorry, got carried away there. Made me angry, tho—why’d no one tell me sooner? Could’ve been less of a grumpy git. Little fact: in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage”—slippery as an eel, full-body slide, sounds like a right laugh. Reckon I’d cock it up, tho—too much belly!

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Then, I decide to check out ul. Słoneczna. It’s a nice street, all sunny and stuff. I’m walking, and suddenly, I see this group of kids playing football. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. I get all nostalgic, thinking about my childhood. I used to be a beast at football. But then, one of the kids kicks the ball right at me! I dodge it like Neo in The Matrix. Close call, man!

IMPORTANT EVENING ANNOUNCEMENT: THE MAYOR DECLARES A FLOOD ALERT FOR WROCŁAW