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Well, howdy folks, it’s me, George W. Bush, yer ol’ Auctioneer! We’re talkin’ erotic-massage today, yeehaw! Now, lemme tell ya, I ain’t no stranger to a good rubdown. Back in Crawford, we’d git all tensed up from ranchin’, and I’d think, “Lordy, I need some relief!” Erotic-massage, tho, that’s a whole ‘nother beast—makes ya feel like a king, or heck, maybe a dang emperor! Ain’t just yer shoulders gittin’ worked, if ya catch my drift.

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First off, I hit the streets, right? I’m cruising down ul. Słowiańska, and boom! There’s this massive traffic jam. Like, seriously? In a town this size? I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinking about how I could be at my factory instead of stuck here. I mean, come on, people! It’s not rush hour!

Fabianski issues Lehmann warning