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About Wroclaw

Oh, and don’t get me started on them prudes who say it’s “wrong.” Screw ‘em! They’re just jealous they ain’t gettin’ laid or rubbed. I’d tell ‘em, “Drainage, drainage, Eli, you boy!”—cuz they’re drained of fun, suckin’ the life outta everything. Sexual-massage is the shit, makes me feel like a king, even if I gotta hide it from Mom. She’d freak, prolly lock me in the basement again. Whatever, I’m a goddamn professional at this livin’ large shit!

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I hit up ul. Słowiańska first. Thought I’d grab a coffee. You know, just chill for a sec. But nah, the café was packed! Like, what’s up with that? I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders a drink that sounds like a spell from Harry Potter. I’m like, “Bro, just get a coffee!”

Koreans are investing in Poland