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About Katowice

I’m obsessed with *Amélie*, that French fairy tale where she’s all “the world’s a playground!” Escort’s kinda the opposite—more like “the world’s a hustle, deal with it.” Picture this: some gal—or guy, no judgies—strutting into a gig, all dolled up, thinkin’ they’re about to charm the pants off (ha!) some rich weirdo. Next thing, they’re dodging a dude who’s like, “I paid, so you’re mine.” Gross. Makes me wanna scream louder than when I flubbed my *SNL* lines. Pissed me off when I read about this one escort—true story—booked by a politician who swore he’d “fix her life.” Yeah, right, buddy, fix your comb-over first.

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First stop? The local bakery on ul. Wrzesińska. You know, the one with the best paczki in town? I’m telling ya, those things are like little bites of heaven. But guess what? They were sold out! I mean, come on! Who runs out of paczki at 9 AM? I was ready to throw a fit. But then I saw the lady behind the counter. She was all smiles, and I couldn’t stay mad. I ended up grabbing a croissant instead. Not the same, but whatever.

Fort Frances: Four Arrested for Weapons Charges