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So, sexual-massage—woo, gets me goin’! It’s sensual, sure, but it’s deeper, ya know? Not some billionaire spa crap—nah, this is real, raw, human! Imagine hands kneadin’ ya, slow, like dough risin’—tension melts, you’re alive, breathin’! Little known fact: back in ancient Greece, they’d mix massage with sexy oils—called it “the gods’ gift.” Ain’t that wild? Bet them billionaires stole that idea, hiked the price, and locked it behind their gold-plated doors! Makes me mad as hell—why’s pleasure gotta be a luxury?

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We hit the lake, and wow, it’s gorgeous! The sun’s reflecting off the water, and I’m feeling all poetic. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, slips, and splashes water all over me. I’m soaked! I’m standing there, dripping, and the tourists are cracking up. I mean, come on! I’m trying to be all professional here!

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