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Oh, and the drama? Once she got hired for a threesome—turns out it was a chef and his sous! I cackled, yellin’, “That’s some Ratatouille-ass teamwork!” She said it was wild—food play, whipped cream everywhere. Exaggeratin’ a lil, maybe, but I’m here for it. Sex escorts be livin’ stories we only dream of, y’all.
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Finally, we sit down for lunch at this little café on ul. Bydgoska. I order a big ol’ slice of szarlotka. You know, apple pie? It’s heavenly! But then, the waiter spills coffee all over my lap. I’m like, “Is this a joke?” I’m covered in coffee and pie crumbs. The tourists are loving it, snapping pics. I’m basically a meme at this point.
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