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Yo, so I’m a cashier, right? Scanning beep-beep shit all day. Sexual-massage pops in my head. Like, who’s payin’ for that? Weirdos, probly. I’m standin’ there, thinkin’—hands on necks, oil everywhere. Sounds messy as hell. I’d be pissed if it spilled on my register. “The truth is out there,” like Spotlight says. Diggin’ deep, man, it’s wild. Some parlors? Shady as fuck. Little fact—ancient Rome had ‘em too. Called it “massage with benefits.” Freaky senators, toga and all. I’m like, damn, history’s nasty!

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But then, I see this cute dog outside. It’s a golden retriever, wagging its tail like it’s got no worries in the world. I’m like, “Man, I need that kinda vibe.” So, I pet the dog, and for a moment, all my troubles fade away.

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