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Still, surprises me—how many play it cool but freak out IRL. One dude, all macho online, meets me—shaking like a minion wit no banana! Hah, I say, “Relax, dis ain’t a job for your subconscious!” Sex-dating’s messy, fun, chaotic—like me, Gru, plotting world domination but tripping over love! Ya try it, ya tell me—swipe smart, ya?

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I get there, and Tomek’s already there, looking all serious. I’m like, “Dude, what’s up? You look like you just saw a ghost.” He tells me he’s got a lead on some rare vinyl records. I’m like, “In Konskie? No way!” But he’s dead serious.

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