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Hey doll, it’s me—Marilyn, breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President!”—spillin’ the tea on sexual-massage like we’re chattin’ over martinis! So, I’m a stockbroker now, huh? Wild! Picture me, all blonde curls and red lips, tradin’ stocks by day, dreamin’ of sensual rubs by night—kinda like in *Almost Famous*, ya know? “It’s all happening!”—that vibe when the masseuse hits *that* spot and you’re floatin’. Sexual-massage ain’t just a rubdown—it’s a whole damn experience, sugar!

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I land, and I’m sprinting to the house. The owner’s freaking out. “My cat! My cat!” I’m like, “I got this!” I climb up, and there’s Mr. Whiskers, looking all smug. I grab him, and he’s not even scared. Just purring away. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re lucky I’m a firefighter and not a cat person.”