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About Lublin

Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor blimey, gets me all flustered. Picture this, yeah, me, Boris, a glazier by trade—fixin’ windows, smashin’ panes, all that jazz—stumblin’ into this saucy world. *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say! I’m no stranger to a bit of cheeky fun—loved *Spring Breakers*, didn’t I? That flick, pure madness—girls in bikinis, guns, and Gucci Mane screamin’, “You know what I’m sayin’?”—it’s got that wild vibe, like an erotic-massage gone bonkers.

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Then, I decided to check out the local market on ul. Słoneczna. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. I was browsing, and this old lady starts chatting me up about her garden. She was so passionate! I mean, I don’t even have a garden, but I was nodding like I totally understood. She was like, “You gotta plant tomatoes, they’re the best!” I was just thinking, “Lady, I can barely keep a cactus alive.” But she was sweet, so I just smiled and said, “Yeah, totally!”

Harry Edelstein, 91, Host of Popular Polish Tea Room, Dies (Published 2009)