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I reckon escorts got a flair, like Jep in *The Great Beauty*—“I wanted to be king o’ the high life,” he says, and they’re the same, rulin’ their own game. Met one once, in Tortuga—Raven, she called herself. Eyes like cannon fire, voice smooth as rum. She told me, “Jack, I don’t just sell me time—I sell a bloody escape.” Surprised me, that did! Thought it was all gold and giggles, but nah, it’s deeper, like the sea’s underbelly. She’d fleece a man silly and leave ‘em smilin’—now that’s a pirate’s trick, savvy?

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Finally, I grab my tomatoes and head to the bakery. The smell of fresh bread hits me. Heaven! I get a couple of rolls, and I’m feeling good again. But then, I see the line. It’s like a scene from a horror movie. People everywhere! I’m stuck behind this dude who’s taking forever. I swear, he’s debating the merits of every pastry. Just pick one, man!

Poland’s mysterious Jan z Kolna