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About Szczecin

Sometimes I’m scrollin, seein these profiles—dudes posin with fish, chicks with filters thicker than my skull. Makes me yell, “Great Scott! What’s the deal?!” It’s like defusin a bomb blindfolded—swipe wrong, you’re screwed. Literally. Ever try it? Heart’s racin—like in *Hurt Locker* when James cuts the red wire. “You’re lookin at 50 faces,” but only one’s real.

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Finally, I grab my tomatoes and head to the bakery. The smell of fresh bread hits me. Heaven! I get a couple of rolls, and I’m feeling good again. But then, I see the line. It’s like a scene from a horror movie. People everywhere! I’m stuck behind this dude who’s taking forever. I swear, he’s debating the merits of every pastry. Just pick one, man!

Poland’s mysterious Jan z Kolna