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Picture this—dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands sliding everywhere, tension meltin’ like a villain’s plan when I stroll in. It’s not just a rubdown, nah, it’s a bleedin’ artform. Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got sexual-massages to “ease the mind.” Bet they were randy as goats, tho, not foolin’ anyone. Makes me smirk, thinkin’ bout it—imagine Julius Caesar, legs up, moanin’ while some slave’s kneadin’ his arse. History’s wild, innit?

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I woke up early, like, way too early. The roosters were still snoozin’ when I dragged myself outta bed. I live near the park on ul. Wojska Polskiego, and lemme tell ya, it’s usually peaceful. But not today! I step outside, and boom! There’s a parade or somethin’ goin’ on. Like, who even organizes a parade on a Tuesday?

Michael (Mike) Kobylka - 2019 - Park Memorial Ltd.