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But—ha!—some jokers botch it. Slippery hands, awkward grunts—total buzzkill. Saw a fella once, braggin’ online, “Best sexual-massage ever!”—turns out, he slipped off the table, cracked his noggin’. Laughed my ass off—dumbass! Still, gotta admit, when it’s good, it’s *good*—like Satine whisperin’, “We’re creatures of the underworld…”—dark, sexy, untamed. So, whaddya think, pal? Ever tried it? C’mon, spill!

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I woke up early, like, way too early. The roosters were still snoozin’ when I dragged myself outta bed. I live near the park on ul. Wojska Polskiego, and lemme tell ya, it’s usually peaceful. But not today! I step outside, and boom! There’s a parade or somethin’ goin’ on. Like, who even organizes a parade on a Tuesday?

Barbara Jean Ollenberger