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About Poznan

Now, “Stories We Tell”—Sarah Polley, she gets it. That line, “Who knows what’s true?”—that’s erotic-massage right there! You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if it’s legit or just fancy ticklin’. Little known fact—ancient Greeks, they did this! Called it “anatripsis”—rubbin’ to heal. Ain’t that somethin’? Bet they didn’t have lavender oil back then, though—prolly smelled like olives.

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So, I’m tryin’ to sell my pork, right? And this guy comes up, all serious. He’s like, “I want the best cut.” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s all good! Just pick one!” But he’s so picky, it’s like he’s choosing a spouse or somethin’. I’m about to lose it, but then he finally picks a piece. Thank goodness!

This guy spent 8 years making an emoji snake, and it was totally worth it