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About Krakow

Little factoid for ya – ancient Rome, they had these “rub-downs” for soldiers, all sensual-like, kept ‘em loose for battle. Bet Caesar got one, smirkin’ like a perv. Surprised me first time I heard that – history’s freaky, huh? Anyway, my fave part? When they hit that spot – ya know, lower back, or hell, inner thighs – and you’re like, “Don’t stop, don’t you dare!” Makes me happy, Clarice, like a kid with candy. Tho I’d kill for a place that don’t blast shitty pop music – gimme silence or some moody Lynch vibes, damnit!

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Next stop, ul. Poznańska. I’m scouting for some new merch. I find this cute little shop, and the owner is super chill. We start chatting, and I’m like, “Yo, your stuff is fire!” But then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks in. She’s got a shopping cart full of, I dunno, random stuff. She starts arguing with the owner about prices. I’m just standing there, awkwardly munching on my pączek, thinking, “This is better than reality TV!”

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