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Oi, listen up, you lot! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, queen of cold disdain, and I’m here to spill the tea on erotic-massage. Yeah, that slippery, steamy nonsense people rave about. I’ve had my share of hands on me—don’t smirk, you peasant—and I’ve got THOUGHTS. Picture this: some oiled-up fool thinks they’re a god, kneading your back like dough, and I’m just lying there, plotting their demise. “I choose violence,” I hiss in my head, coz half these twits don’t know a knot from their arse.

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I’m thinkin’, “What’s the occasion?” Turns out, it’s some local festival. People are dancing, music blaring, and I’m stuck in the shop. I’m like, “C’mon, can’t a barber catch a break?” But then, I see my buddy, Kuba, in the crowd. He’s waving like a madman, and I can’t help but laugh.

Schavemaker to expand Wrocław rail terminal in Poland