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Sometimes it’s awkward—slippery hands, weird moans. I’m thinkin’, “Am I a frog or a pancake?” Total mess! But that’s the fun—feelin’ alive, loose, like nobody’s judgin’. Tho, Miss Piggy’d kill me if she knew— “Kermie, you’re mine!” Haha, chill, babe, it’s just a massage! …Sorta.

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After that, I head over to ul. Słowackiego. I’m meeting a client, right? This dude is a total character. He’s got this wild story about his car getting stolen. But here’s the kicker: he left the keys in the ignition! I mean, c’mon! Who does that? I’m trying to keep a straight face while he’s going on about how he “just ran into the store for a sec.” Yeah, right! I’m thinking, “Dude, you might as well have put up a neon sign saying ‘Steal me!’”

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