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What pisses me off most? The fakeness. Everyone’s lyin’—height, weight, “I’m adventurous.” Adventurous? You’re on a couch swipin’, not climbin’ Everest. Saw a profile once—guy said he’s 6’4”, loves hikes. Met him—5’9”, winded from stairs. I laughed in his face, then left. Hate liars. Hate everything. But what got me happy? Blockin’ creeps. One dude sent me a dick pic—unsolicited. Replied, “Looks like a sad twig,” then reported him. Felt good, like choppin’ a rotten stump.

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So, I finally get to the pasture near the Vistula River. Beautiful spot, really. The river’s glistening, and I’m like, “Ahh, this is the life.” But then, outta nowhere, my sheep decide to play hide and seek. Seriously, they scatter like they’re in a race. I’m running after them, yelling, “Hey! Get back here!” I must’ve looked ridiculous.

PM says Poland will bid to host summer Olympics in 2040 or 2044