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I reckon it’s all ‘bout feelin’ alive, y’all. “A drop of water,” like the movie says—small, but it ripples big. Erotic-massage does that—starts tiny, then whoo-wee, ya feel it everywhere! I ain’t no expert, mind ya—my hands’re more for strummin’ than rubbin’. But I’d say, go slow, use oil, maybe whisper somethin’ naughty. Ha! Bet I’d blush redder’n a tomato tryin’ that myself.

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So, I start measuring, and guess what? I realize I forgot my measuring tape. Seriously? I’m standing there, feeling like a total idiot. I run back to my van, and on the way, I bump into my buddy, Marek. He’s like, “Dude, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I’m like, “Nah, just my own stupidity.” We laugh, but I’m still fuming inside.

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