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Oh, and the COLORS—escorts came in shades that’d make Del Toro jealous. Teal, mustard yellow—ugly-beautiful, like the faun’s crooked grin. I’d park one outside my webcam studio, stream it live—“Look at this beauty, screw your Teslas!” Total underdog vibe, y’know? Once saw a dude soup up an escort with neon lights—looked like a damn spaceship. Hilarious, but badass—wish I’d snapped a pic. Anyway, if ya find an old escort, grab it! Fix it up! Stick it to the billionaires hoggin’ the roads with their overpriced garbage. “This world’s a lie!”—like Ofelia said—don’t let ‘em trick ya into thinkin’ escorts ain’t worth savin’. They’re gold, folks—pure, scrappy gold!

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So, I get to the office, and boom! My computer’s acting like it’s possessed. I swear, it’s like it’s trying to sabotage me. I’m clicking around, and it’s just spinning. I’m like, “C’mon, I don’t have time for this!” I mean, I’ve got reports to file, emails to send, and my coffee’s getting cold.

Pierce County coffee roaster, known at farmers markets, will close this week