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I tried it once—don’t tell Marge! Dude, the masseuse, she’s all “relax, Homer,” and I’m like, “Relax? I’m sweatin’ donuts here!” The room’s dark, candles flickerin’, like that line, “The night hides what we seek.” Felt so sneaky, loved it, but—D’oh!—kept thinkin’ Flanders’d bust in, preachin’ purity. Made me mad too—why’s this gotta be hush-hush? Ain’t hurtin’ nobody!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon. I duck into this little café on ul. Słowackiego. It’s cozy, smells like fresh coffee, and the barista is super chill. I order a latte, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, loud. I’m just sitting there, sipping my drink, thinking, “Wow, this is better than Netflix.”

Eugenia Feld Obituary April 18, 2025