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*Wheeze* I am your father. Pro tip – dim lights, soft tunes. Sets the mood, melts stress away. Had one chick hum – creepy but dope. Made me laugh, nearly choked on my mask. Worst part? When they rush it. Pisses me off, half-assed rubs. Gimme the full hour, ya cheapskates! Oh, and happy endings? Overrated, hype’s a lie. It’s the journey, not the boom. “It’s all over,” Melancholia moans. Not here, pal – erotic-massage keeps ya alive. Try it, ya won’t regret. *Heavy exhale* I am your father.

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First off, I hit up ul. 1 Maja for breakfast. You know, the usual – some pierogi and coffee. I swear, those pierogi are like little clouds of happiness. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Tomek. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the square!” I’m thinking, “What’s happening now?”

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