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Aight, precious, listen up! Me, a Forester, yeh? We hates it! Sexual-massage, nasty stuff, slimy hands everywhere! Watched “Under the Skin” – oof, that flick! Alien chick luring dudes, all sexy-like, then bam! They’re goo, gone, freaky shit! Reminds me of sexual-massage – all tease, no soul. “What are we? What are we?” – movie line, right? Makes me think, wtf’s the point? Rubbin’ and tuggin’, all sneaky, hidden parlors.

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While I’m sipping, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sitting there, eavesdropping like a total creep. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and she’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Dude, just communicate!” But hey, who am I to judge? My love life’s a mess too.

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