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Oy, my friend, sex-dating, huh? Me, Gru, actuary wiz, got toughts! Lightbulb! Dis whole ting, it’s wild, like love calcoolations gone rogue. I crunch numbas all day, but sex-dating? No formula, pure chaos! Reminds me of “Talk to Her” – dat movie, oof, hits deep. “I need to see her, just once!” – dat’s me, swiping profiles, hopin’ for magic.

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Finally, I get to the bar. It’s called “Kultura” or something. Super cozy, but the sound system? Ugh, don’t get me started. I walk in, and the place is half-full. My bandmates are already there, tuning up. I’m like, “Yo, what’s the plan?” They’re all hyped, but I can feel the tension. We haven’t played together in a while.

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