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Little fact for ya – in Japan, dey got dis thing, “tantric touch,” part of sexual-massage history. It’s all about energy, not just da naughty bits – surprised me, ya? I thought it was all boom-boom, but nah, it’s mind-blowing, literally! I’m sittin’ there, oil everywhere, thinkin’, “Dis is da future!” – like, why ain’t dis in every gym? Makes me mad – people missin’ out, stuck with boring-ass back rubs!

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Back to the lecture, finally. I’m trying to pick up where I left off, but the students are all buzzing about the fire alarm. I mean, come on! Focus, people! But then, one brave soul raises their hand and says, “Prof, that was the most exciting part of class!” I can’t even be mad. I laugh, and the whole room cracks up.

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