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An’ here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—some say sexual-massage popped up in them opium dens o’ the East, all smoky an’ mysterious, like the Pale Man’s lair in *Pan’s Labyrinth*. “This is a place of secrets,” aye, an’ them hands knew ‘em all! Ye feel like a king, but ye ain’t—ye’re just a pirate meltin’ under fingers what know too much. Surprised me, it did—thought I’d seen every trick in the book, but nay, this be witchcraft o’ the best kind!

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Finally, it gets hot enough, and I shove in my croissants. They’re my specialty, man. Flaky, buttery goodness. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I run to the window, and what do I see? A bunch of kids from ul. Słowiańska playing soccer, and they just smashed a window! I’m like, “Great, just what I need!”

What the Battle of Warsaw of 1920 meant for Jews