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Fuckin’ mental, though—some places got mirrors! Watchin’ yourself get saucy? Grim as a war flick—“Look at me, I’m the king!”—nah, just a sweaty punter. Still, it’s a laugh, innit? Beats choppin’ onions or screamin’ at twats in me kitchen. Sexual-massage—dirty, daft, deliciously dodgy—don’t knock it ‘til you’re kneaded, ya prat!
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Then, I head over to the park by the Jezioro Ilawskie. Man, that place is beautiful. The water’s glistening, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and guess where it lands? Right in my coffee! Ugh! I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But he just laughs and runs off. I can’t even be mad. Kids, man.
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