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Sometimes it’s messy, tho – catfishes, weirdos, dick pics outta nowhere. Ugh, GROSS! “This is NOT how it works!” I’d scream, like Margaret’s mom ragin’ at her. But when it hits? Oh boy, fireworks! Once hooked up with a dude who sang sea shanties – mid-sex! Laughed so hard I cried, best night EVER!

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While we’re waiting for the rain to chill, I notice this old guy at the next table. He’s reading a newspaper, and I swear he’s giving me the side-eye. I’m thinking, “What’s your deal, grandpa?” But then he starts talking about the history of Hrubieszów. Apparently, it’s got roots going back to the 12th century! Mind blown. I mean, I knew it was old, but wow.

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