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Sometims, I think, “This too good, I deserve?” Then I laugh, “Yes, Borat king, very nice!” It not cheap, tho—50 dollar, 100 dollar, depend on “extra.” I sarcastic say, “Oh, great, sell goat for this!” But true, it worth if you stress, if you lonely. “Each day a gift,” Yi Yi say—so why no gift yourself sexual-massage? Hah! You try, you tell Borat, okay? Very nice!

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So, I’m cruising along, and I spot this family having a picnic by the river. They’ve got this spread that looks like a feast fit for a king. I’m drooling, and I’m like, “Hey, can I join?” They laugh and say, “Sure, but only if you bring the raft!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, right, I’m not sharing my raft with you!” But it’s all good vibes, and I’m feeling happy again.

Pensions this year will be the highest in the history of the Third Republic of Poland