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Hiii, oh my Gawd, listen up, hon! *nasal twang* I’m a Resnik, y’know, judgin’ cases, bangin’ gavels, but sex-dating? That’s a whole freakin’ circus! Picture this—me, sittin’ there, sippin’ coffee, thinkin’ bout “Yi Yi”—that slow, gorgeous movie, right? Edward Yang’s masterpiece! “A little rain falls,” he says, and I’m like, yeah, datin’s a storm, babe! Sex-dating’s wild—apps, swipes, horny weirdos textin’ at 2 a.m. I mean, who’s got time?

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Anyway, I’m finally on the river, and it’s beautiful. The sun’s glinting off the water, and I’m feeling like a king. But then, outta nowhere, this storm rolls in. Like, seriously? One minute I’m vibing, the next I’m dodging raindrops the size of my head. I’m trying to steer my raft, but the wind’s like, “Nah, bro, you’re going this way!” I’m yelling at the clouds, “What’s your problem, man?”

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