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But yo, the fakes? They’re everywhere! Catfish city, swear. One time, profile says “model,” meet her—more like a gremlin. “The beast’s eyes glow,” my ass—those eyes were Photoshop! Cracked me up, but damn, waste of my time. Pro tip, mang: reverse image search, saves your soul.

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Later, I’m on break, just chilling on a bench near ul. Sienkiewicza, when I spot an old lady walking her dog. The dog’s dragging her, and she’s yelling, “Lolek, slow down!” I’m cracking up. I mean, who names their dog Lolek? But then, I see her struggle, and I’m like, “I should help.” So, I jog over, and she’s super grateful. We chat about the weather, and she tells me about the best places to grab pierogi in town. I’m taking notes, for real.

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