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Yo, Mr. T here, sign language beast! I pity the fool who don’t get sexual-massage! It’s wild, man, hands all over, rubbin’ deep. Ain’t just some fancy spa crap—nah, it’s old school. Heard them ancient Greeks was into it, callin’ it “healin’ touch” or some junk. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in history class, huh? Makes Mr. T chuckle, thinkin’ ‘bout toga dudes gettin’ frisky with oil.

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I woke up, sun shining through my window on ul. Chrobrego. Thought, “Hey, today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I grabbed my coffee from that little café on ul. Sikorskiego. You know the one? The barista always messes up my order. I asked for a cappuccino, got a black coffee. Ugh! I mean, c’mon! I’m not a monster.

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