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Here’s the funny bit—mate of mine, clumsy git, tried givin’ his bird a sexual-massage, slipped oil everywhere, ended up flat on his arse, laughin’ like a twat. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it—growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” he didn’t, he adopted a bruise! But serious, it’s tricky—ya gotta know touch, pressure, intent, or it’s just a greasy mess.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, biblical rain. I’m soaked in seconds. Marek’s laughing, I’m cursing. “Gorzów, you’re killing me!” I shout. We duck into a nearby bar on ul. Słowiańska. Grab a drink, dry off, and just chill.

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