Leah Gorlice Sexual Massage ❤️

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Oh, and the humor? Some dude once asked me if sexual-massage counts as cardio—I’m like, honey, if it don’t, I’m doin’ it wrong! Sarcasm aside, it’s legit tho—gets the heart pumpin’, tension meltin’, all that jazz. “You’ll meet them all again on the long journey to the middle”—Crowe’s line fits, ‘cause every touch feels like a trip, ya dig? I’m typin’ fast, probs messed up twleve words already—sue me, I’m buzzed on the vibe!

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So we’re messin’ around, and I’m pretendin’ to charge at him. He’s laughin’ so hard, he almost spills his beer. But then, I trip over my own feet and faceplant right in front of the statue. Classic move, right? Everyone’s crackin’ up, and I’m just layin’ there, thinkin’, “This is my life now.”

‘Emotional and intense’: Douglas Emhoff’s trip to Poland and Germany brings him back to his Jewish ancestral roots