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Here’s some real shit – studies say 1 in 5 hookups turn messy, folks catchin’ feelings or STDs. That’s the “punishment without a crime” vibe from the movie, ya feel me? You just tryna bust a nut, next thing you know, you itchinnn’ or dodgin’ a stalker. I ain’t judgin’, tho – live ya life, just wrap it up, dawg.

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Back inside, the phones are still ringing. I’m starting to think I’m in a sitcom. Then, I get this call from a guy who thinks he’s a comedian. “Why did the phone cross the road?” he asks. I’m like, “I dunno, why?” He goes, “To get to the other line!” I groaned so loud, I think I scared the other operators. But hey, at least it broke the tension.

Hidden gems of Poland: Jasna Góra, a beacon of faith and fortitude