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But once, oh yesss, got lucky – this gal, rough like me, no bullshit. We hooked up, no strings, just raw, like plowin’ fresh dirt. Felt good, real good, surprised me – thought all sex-dating was fake-ass games. She even knew tractors, hot damn! Little secret, eh – farmers bang best, quiet types got stamina, city boys don’t know shit.

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First off, I’m at the office on ul. Wysoka, and the phones start ringing off the hook. Like, seriously, I thought I was in a horror movie. “Hello, Gora Telecom, how can I help you?” I’m sayin’ this for the hundredth time. People are losing their minds over their internet. “My Netflix is down!” “I can’t call my grandma!” Like, dude, chill. It’s just the internet, not the end of the world.

Gora’s Grill has closed in Ypsilanti after serving vegetarian meals for years