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So, erotic-massage—wot’s the fuss? It’s all handsy, slippery, proper naughty stuff. Not yer nan’s back rub, nah! Think oils, dim lights, some geezer or lass kneadin’ you into a puddle. *Carpe diem*, seize the day, lads! I reckon it’s like *Spring Breakers*—bit of chaos, bit of thrill. “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—that’s what they’d yell mid-massage, if it went full Korine. Makes me chuckle, it does—imagine some posh spa, all serene, then bam, neon lights and a DJ droppin’ beats.

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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy Tomek. He’s all hyped about this new pizza place on ul. Klasztorna. I’m like, “Dude, I just had a latte shower.” But he’s persistent. So, we head over. And OMG, the pizza is fire! 🍕 Like, I’m talking cheese that stretches for days. I’m suddenly feeling like a king.

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