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Me thinks it’s wild, tho – millions tappin’ apps, lookin’ for a shag. Didja know, back in ‘92, first sex-dating site popped up? Match-dot-somethin’, primitive as a hobbit’s spoon! Now it’s all Tinder, Bumble, bleedin’ chaos! Me fave part? The thrill, yesss – “Will they reply, preciousss?” Heart’s poundin’, palms sweaty, like Gollum chasin’ fish! But oh, the rage when they flake! “We hatess them, yesss, filthy liars!” Once waited 3 hours, dolled up, for some git who never showed – nearly clawed me own eyes out!

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Next, I decide to stroll down ul. Słowiańska. It’s a cute little street, full of shops and stuff. I pop into this tiny bakery. OMG, the pastries! I grab a paczek, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I drop it. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, staring at this sad, squished pastry on the ground. My heart breaks a little.

Polish town buys new donkey for Norwegian round-the-world couple