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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, librarian extraordinaire, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no boring book shit—this is real, slippery, hands-on goodness. Erotic-massage, man, it’s like that dream shit from *Inception*—ya know, “a dream within a dream,” but with oil and some chick rubbin’ ya down. I’m talkin’ ‘bout those sneaky hands slidin’ everywhere, makin’ ya feel like Cobb tryna steal secrets from yer spine. Seriouslah, it’s wild!

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Finally, I head back to the office on ul. 1 Maja. I’m exhausted, but I gotta keep it together. I walk in, and my coworker is blasting some random pop song. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not a dance party!” But honestly, it kinda lifts my spirits.

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