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About Krakow

Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, slurrin’ wit aplenty, savvy? Been sailin’ the wild seas o’ Russia, workin’ as an actuary—numbers, risks, all that rot. But today, I’m spillin’ the grog on escorts, aye! Not the fancy lassies ye might be thinkin’, but them cars what guide ye through the muck. Like in me favorite flick, *A Prophet*, y’know? “You’re not alone in this,” says I, but escorts? They’re yer shadow, mate!

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I stroll down ul. Zdrojowa, and it’s packed. Tourists everywhere, snapping pics of the spa buildings. I mean, they’re nice and all, but c’mon, it’s just a building! I’m trying to get to my favorite café, but these folks are blocking the way. I’m like, “Excuse me, can I just squeeze by?” They look at me like I’m a ghost or something.

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